I’m Ian Pullen, from the UK, but resident in Spain since 2005 when I moved with my wife, the internationally renowned bearded lady, Kate Pullen.
We’ve been living in a village palacio about an hour’s drive north of Seville since then.
Back then I had visions of grandeur. Lots of ermine and a crown. Perhaps a butler, even.
Instead, I somehow became the butler, serving a house full of dogs and cats. Most of them are blind as we somehow fell in to taking in special needs animals.
If we ever need a new revenue stream, perhaps we could turn the house into The World of Wonky Pets.
I’m sure there could be big bucks in letting the public marvel at dogs as they sleep and eat. That is basically all they do.
Except for “Badass” Bobbins, that is, the canine single handedly responsible for global warming.
She may have got the media claiming it’s the farming industry responsible for all the methane in atmosphere, but don’t believe a word of it.
She gets away with it because of “friends” in high places. She always said that Donald Trump “leg cocking” video made that whole trip to Moscow worthwhile.
Since 2001 we’ve lived without a TV, though somehow we’ve still watched every episode of Midsomer Murders.
With no TV, we listen to a lot of radio, which leads me to the classic BBC Radio 4 program, Desert Island Discs.
In brief, the “castaways” are asked to name the eight music tracks they would want on a desert island.
It’s a great way to get to know people, so let’s give it a go, but with a twist.
Oh yes, before diving in, they’re also invited to select a luxury item and a book to take to the island too.
So, my luxury item will be an eternal cheese and wine party.
For the book? I think the owners manual for the Bosch HBA63B150B built-in oven. It would be great to think that if I ever got rescued, when I got home I’d know how it worked.